My Truth

Has anyone ever coined the phrase "self-conquest"? If nobody has I wish to because for some reason I've felt so much weight lift off my shoulders. I don't know what happened to me this year, I mean I can think of about six or seven reasons of why my year sucked but I feel right now. I feel like I went twelve rounds with the toughest battle I've ever met head on and won. I'm just sick of feeling like I'm not in control of my own life. Some things you can't control but conquest comes with understanding, rationality and that stiff upper lip. That ability to take anything on the chin and think "that's all you've got..?" I feel like I've woken up from a nightmare. Life has been haunting me for the past fourteen months. When you've let things like money, bills, work, heartache, loss, jealousy, distrust, narcicism and hate into your heart and soul they will tear you apart from the inside out, trust me. I don't mean this to come off as some redundant victory speech about my experiences but I feel free for the first time in so long. I'm sick of my regrets and I've learned my lessons, one of them being that if some people don't want to be in your life than fuck 'em. I've learned I've made mistakes, taken people for granted, been selfish, been over-expectant, too proud, too annoying, too forceful, too reliant...fuck that... And I've changed for what I believe is the better and I feel centered again. I'm not all over the place like I've been, I can see who and what is here for me in one way or the other. I keep wanting to branch out and I've noticed when I'm with or talking to some people that I'm not searching anymore, that's right where I am is where I want to be. I think that that is the best thing one person can say to another, and from now on shall be my highest compliment.