1 post tagged “health”

The Souls tonight were amazing, I'll write more when I'm feeling less paralyzed and the terror alert on my body odor is reduced to normal. This little bloggy is dedicated to a girl I saw walking down 4th Avenue right near Union Square, she was actually so tan I wanted to stop her and ask how in fact she got so tan. Well on the same block I saw a similarly basketball colored creature and just let it go laughing to myself. See here's the info people we live in an area with four seasons and the only thing rarer than a December in New York City without snow is getting that great day-after-Christmas tan on the Great Lawn. You look like a moron! I can understand people go tanning maybe once or twice a month however if you sleep or bathe in some sort of contraption that emits radiation into your skin for hours upon hours a week the whole year round, well hey guess what Prancy Prance when you act 33, talk like you're 33 and maybe even smell like you're 33 you're going to look 45. Tanning beds emit so much UVB that it is actually changing your skin's DNA. And when Mister or Misses Melonoma comes knocking you'll know what gave her your address! So all in all I've decided to end this rant with a rant from my favorite ranter... 

"You, my friend, you look so damn leathery, I'm honestly tempted to wrap you 'round a baseball, sinch you up with a belt, and stick you under my mattress for the big game on Sunday, but since I'm here to heal, not judge, I'm gonna go ahead and write you a couple of prescriptions. You'll find that this first one is for an extra large mallet to help you pound some sense into yourself, this second one is for a big floppy hat that you are now to wear every single time you leave the house. Have a great day, ya look like a purse!"