19 posts tagged “life”
I can't believe it's been a year since I moved to Miami. Well, a year yesterday. It's not that it hasn't felt like a year, it's just been one crazy amount of emotion in 366 days. I'm endlessly happy to be back home in New Jersey after six months in south Florida. It just wasn't for me. I missed my friends, my beautiful and amazing girlfriend (she's one person), my home, my feeling like I was home. Those six months were tough, insanely tough on me. I definitely experienced palpable growing pains in the last twelve months. Emotional swings, tough, really tough decisions, issues bearing with the past, the future, present, nano-crossroads, accepting wins and losses. A wise man once said it's not the amount of years in your life but the amount of life in your years. I'm stoked (stoked being something I don't feel too often anymore) to say I've lived like that for the first 23 years and 11 months. I have no shortage of dreams and emotions (sometimes the latter is not apparent) but this past year has left me feeling dry inside, searching for anything inspiring, finding fewer reasons to do things because I want to but more often because I don't want to do/suffer the alternative. I never wanted to be that person that's bummed by having to grow up. I've never wanted to be like so many of the adults I was surrounded with as a child, scattered, stressed, graying and fraying at the ends. I never ever ever wanted that. It's fair to say I reached out to role models who barely knew me, or I only knew one side of their lives. And even the people I most admire, I wonder and often doubt my ability to uniquely replicate what they've done. In fact, if I could sum up the past 12 months in just one sentence, which is tough, it'd be that I've never felt less special, less unique or less important. I am young, and I know that, yet I don't feel like I am. I feel absolutely beat up. When you're down is when you really realize how many people lean on you, which sucks because I feel like that is ONE huge thing that I lack. I feel less like the downtown and more of the neglected bridge and I can't put my finger on it. I guess it's because I've had a lot of idealogies turn into actual experiences and haven't been happy of the outcomes. I've moved way too often, made way too many transitions and squeezed myself too tight too often. In a way it's all I know how to be: crazy. I guess the overall tone or still-hidden rationale to this is it's the only way I know how to live. And the thought of the future scares me when I know I shouldn't fear it but shape it. You can only live in so many moments. Dreams, the things that hopefully push us all, can be altered or tarnished so quickly with such little effort. I guess I have a lot of those patches on my sleeve and I'm not sure what's going to take their places. I don't mean to sound so downtrodden, so oppressed, but time is short and something nobody should be so blase about. I'm not so sure that old me would like the older me. I need to take some advice from a younger version of myself and stay stoked, about anything. About something coming. I want to be stoked for the future and for new experiences..
Life is happening! I don't know it kinda freaks me out, but three of my ex's are engaged, and that's crazy to me. Not crazy in the "what the fuck are YOU doing" crazy, just the kind of crazy like hitting a bump while driving 180 mph is crazy. It just shakes you a little more than monotonous I'm going on vacation here or they hooked up here stories do (obviously). Marriage to me is that ultimate piece of growing up that while you know is what you want, you realize in a sense that it's hopefully terminal...think the almighty Michael Jordan getting inducted into the Pro Basketball Hall of Fame last year when he said this:
"I don't like being up here for the Hall of Fame because at that time your basketball career is completely over, I was hoping this day would be 20 more years, or actually go in when I'm dead and gone."
"I always want to be able to have you thinking I can always go back and play the game of basketball and put your shorts on," Jordan said. "Hall of Fame to me is like, OK, it's over and done with."
I don't share that exact sentiment when it comes to tying the knot, but I feel him on what he's saying. Except here that IS growing up in its essence. Maybe making your decisions, and really making your decisions fully, 100% considering that person in your life is maturation personified in all of our own individual situations.
2:15 a.m.? Fuck!
I cut all my hair off tonight with the help of my friends Joe (2) and Sean. I had a lot!
I'm playing a show with my friends in Hudson on Friday night at the Bayonne Relay For Life event at Veterans' Stadium at around 8 p.m. If you're in the mood for good music/nostalgia/hanging for a great cause than come by! It's my first full show with any band since 2005, so I'm pretty excited!
I have a ton of pictures on my camera from Miami, Key West, random Route 95, CitiField, Princeton, exploring New Jersey's Great Swamp, pulling pranks in Morristown and more. When I find my stupid little Kodak-only USB cable I'll put them up, some of them came out pretty sweet.
There is something immensely powerful when you're able to be yourself when the spotlight's on. Certainly nobody wants to be repugnant or burn bridges with their loved ones but I think there comes a time and a place where you really start to take on your own life. It's like a ship leaving port and the ropes come off one by one. I mean, that's an idealistic scenario because often I bet it's more like one or two strands remain stubborn against all efforts, the weather is gray, the waves are rougher than usual and the engine room wonders if it really has the steam to reach that next port. Whatever the ailments may be, all fleets deemed seaworthy must lift anchor. At some point take the wheel and point towards whatever it is that makes you shake inside. Whether it's adventure, gold or discovery, seizing the wheel and setting sail is the hardest part. While they'll surely be dark skies and rough seas along the way, take comfort in the fact that even catastrophic shipwrecks make it on the map.
It's been a long week, I'll tell ya all about it hopefully sooner than later.
In the meantime, here are some things that I'd like to do with my time. They're not in any particular order and the following is a hybrid product of both intensive brainstorming and complete spontaneity.
1) Drive across the United States of America and down the 101 into southern California.
2) Watch one of my favorite sports teams win a championship. This means Red Sox, Jets, Nets or Devils. Jimmie Johnson and Jeff Gordon also qualify.
3) Be a father.
4) Go home, and feel home not longing for something new. Think John Cusack's character making mix tapes at the end of "High Fidelity".
5) Write a record that I am really proud of.
6) Go on tour, playing, merch, managing, tech, it doesn't matter, if I had to pick a number one, it'd be tour.
7) Watch fireworks from a plane.
8) Watch a a space shuttle liftoff.
9) Diversify my seafood taste past salmon and New England Clam Chowder.
10) Live in Boston.
11) Build an amazing snowman.
12) Be a family man. Think Chris Rock in "I Think I Love My Wife"
13) See a manatee.
14) Go on an African safari.
15) Walk along the Great Wall of China.
16) Australia. Enough said.
17) Go surfing in Hawaii.
18) Live in New York City. Manhattan or Brooklyn preferably.
19) Get a sailor tattoo.
20) Visit family in Ireland.
21) Have that bachelor pad apartment with my friends. Am I too old for that yet?
22) Meet a serving American president.
Surely to be updated in the future.
"I met some people along the way ,
There's a knot in my stomach! I hope not, but my stomach has felt all types of off all day today. I woke up this morning and went to work but by 7:30 I had to leave because I felt like I was gonna throw up. My stomach is definitely my Achilles' heal.
The TV writers' strike is finally over! Thank God. This is the first time in my life where I'm genuinely interested in television. I never really watched TV shows growing up, not ones with story lines, anyway. For me it was always about sports, news and the weather (in that order). Growing up (gulp) and the schedule (sigh) that comes with it really makes you appreciate being entertained every night by the warm glow of TV. I've been an avid Scrubs fan for about three years now and with this season, scratch that; series winding down, I'm very glad that the finale of the show will actually be shot and not be a memory left in Bill Lawrence (he's the creator) 's head. My friend Sal and I always have went back in forth with our favorite shows. His favorite shows, The Office, has (thanks to Sal) taken almost a 1b spot right behind Scrubs. I'm in an extra good mood tonight because I can catch two syndicated episodes of The Office tonight at 10. So that's definitely the most I've ever written about television, let's move on.
Write your own Wikipedia entry for yourself (or share the link if you already have one).
General & Family Friends
Sean Joseph O'Rourke, born December 10th, 1985 in New Jersey is an amatuer race-car driver who often points to his Irish heritage and previous, vast life experiences as a catalyst for as he describes it 'living a full life'. Sean grew up in and currently resides in Bayonne, New Jersey. He shares a house with his mother Denise and stepfather Charlie. Sean has many actual and not-actually-related-to-him family members including actual cousins Andrew, Peter, Ahmed and Kim. He is closest to no-family-ties-whatsoever cousin Sarah Royal, originally of Bayonne, NJ. Sean often refers to best friends Dan Boyce and Sal Pellitteri as his brothers. Sean is currently engaged to Alissa Stampoulos of Monroe Township, NJ. Sean's list of past best friends is extensive and is listed here chronilogically; Joseph Delesky Jr, Jeffrey Brown, Ashley Malok, Sal Pellitteri & Daniel 'Nancy' Boyce.
Heritage
Sean is Irish and Native American of Navajo descent.
School
Sean attended school at Lincoln Community School and Bayonne High School in Bayonne, NJ. He graduated in the top 20% in 2004 despite majoring in slacking and general mischief. After graduating high school he attended William Paterson University of New Jersey where he studied music and english. He then took a hiatus to play music, travel and be further involved in general mischief. He studied blues during the summer of 2005 at Berklee College of Music in Boston, Massachussetts. He returned to school full-time in Spring 2007 at New Jersey City University to study english and biology. He withdrew from classes in September of 2007 because his NASCAR dreams came knocking earlier than he'd previously envisioned. Sean plans on finishing college after doing the thing his soul tells him to do to earn a degree in english.
Music
Sean served as guitarist and song-writer for New Jersey rock band Hudson for close to four years. He penned all of the songs on their debut EP, most notably "Not Giving Up" which was featured in 20th Century Fox's major motion picture "John Tucker Must Die". With O'Rourke, Hudson was noted for their catchy, high-energy songs played often at venues in New Jersey and New York City. During O'Rourke's tenure, the band performed at such notable venues as Krome, Networking Cafe and Maxwell's, among other in New Jersey as well as the Continental and Knitting Factory in New York City. Hudson played shows along bands such as Cartel, The Youth Ahead, Postmark September, Audio Karate and Punchline. There have been numerous rumors and signs pointing to a reuniting with Hudson however both sides have denied those reports.
After departing Hudson in March of 2005, Sean was a pioneering member of now-New Jersey rock staples Racing Kites. Through seeing the dedication of other members Dan Boyce, Alex Ziabko and Rick Szpakowski he decided that he could never give himself up to the band the way they did, and the two sides split.
Interactions
Along with having a self-described "great" set of friends, Sean has also been fortunate to meet some of his heroes along with people he has much admiration for such as the following: Bruce Springsteen, John Mayer, Jason Kidd, Jimmie Johnson, Rusty Wallace, Stephen Van Zant, Max Weinberg, Mark Hoppus, Tom DeLonge, Travis Barker, Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt, Tre Cool, Greg Attonito, Pete Steinkopt, Bryan Kienlan, Michael McDermott, Mikki Moore, Alex Cora, along with members of bands such as Less Than Jake, New Found Glory, among others.
That was narcissistic.
List five reasons (at least) why you are awesome.
Submitted by goobers18.
1) I always drive and am always down for trips and spontaneous insanity.
2) I'm Irish.
3) I will eat almost anything not originating from China/Japan/Thailand/the sea.
4) For someone completely narcicistic I'm actually pretty humble and unassuming.
5) I will let you play with my iPhone in return for a favor of equal value; (coffee/flashing).
So for the first time I actually am feeling a little aged. Albeit, it's 22...and I'm not even there yet. Next Monday is my 22nd birthday and I have no idea what I'm doing. I do know that this might be the first time I've flipped a calendar to December and not gotten really stoked about my birthday. Maybe I'm getting old and maturing (yea ok) but I think it's because January 15th is the date I'm really focusing on. I'm moving and I'm pretty anxious. Calling for apartments for some reason makes me nervous, I don't know.
The past few days have been good for me. I know I've been slacking on my Voxing but I've been keeping busy. It's been absolutely freezing here which I guess is a given but it somehow caught me off guard. Despite the freezing cold Dan and I are still pulling off all-night basketball games like we did Saturday and again last night. It's a good time, especially when we involve current kite racers Rick and Alex. It's good to hang around those two guys again lately. And as for Dan, the only time he ever agitates me (very slightly even) is playing basketball which I find to be actually fun anyway so it works out. I went through a long stretch of time thinking "if for some odd reason I were to find myself getting married this weekend, who'd be my best man?", and it's good to know I've got someone solid now.
Speaking of marriage I got to hang with a slightly under the weather yet still lovely Alissa Stampoulos last night at the Americana. She's one of the people I will really miss so much it'll hurt. Before I drove to the Americana I also got to hang out with Emma in Long Branch where we practiced our fatness eating twice in the course of less than an hour. Regardless, she's 'babely' and it's ok. Yesterday was a good day.
The world of sports for me has been hanging on one word that Curt Schilling titled a blog after perfectly: Santana? That's right, I am insanely intrigued by what the Red Sox do in this situation. I absolutely love Jacoby Ellsbury, Clay Bucholz and Jon Lester as a fan and can't imagine what it's like to be shopped around as players are. This is how I think about this trade; there is one starter in the American League who I could see going pitch for pitch with Josh Beckett and it's Johan Santana. If you have the chance to assemble possibly the best five-man pitching rotation in the history of baseball (Beckett, Santana, Matsuzaka, Schilling, Bucholz/Lester) than I think you have to do it. I won't lose sleep with Coco Crisp as the Red Sox CF next season because he is my #1 defensive CF in all of baseball. When it comes to being a rabid baseball fan, I don't lose sleep anymore because Theo Epstein is the best GM in baseball and I know if this trade leaves a minute hole somewhere in the Sox organization, he has a plan to effectively fill it.
Nora and I are going to see the Nets play the Knicks tomorrow in what be my first trip to the 'new' Izod Center. I haven't been to a Nets game this year so I'm pretty excited. It's a big game for both teams, maybe the Knicks beating us in our house will get that taste of 45-point-ass-whooping-at-the-hands-of-Boston taste out of their mouths. I hope not. Richard Jefferson of the Nets is having a career year which is important because if we find ourselves completely out of the playoffs in the East come the deadline, we'll get a lot in return for any of the Big 3.
I currently rank the teams in the East like this:
1) Boston (Garnett may be MVP, they're in their own world right now)
2) Orlando (Dwight Howard, Stan Van Gundy is laughing at Pat Riley)
3) Detroit (see Perrenial)
4) Toronto (if Ford, Bargnani and Bosh can heal up they can play with anyone except Boston)
5) Cleveland (getting back LeBron and Varajeo is key)
6) New Jersey (Richard Jefferson career year, Sean Williams making impacts, VC and Kidd need to stay healthy)
7) Chicago (Hinrich what is happening?)
8) New York (better than Indiana, Atlanta, a Gilbert-less Washington, Wade-less Miami. Randolph and Curry; strong)
Is anyone else day-dreaming of a Boston/San Antonio series?
Is anyone else day-dreaming of a Beckett/Santana-led rotation?
Will the Steelers beat the Pats?
As a Jets fan I'm happy we escaped the possibility of being the only team Miami beats this year.
I couldn't tell you a thing about the NHL this season.
Is it Speedweeks yet?